Who makes the cut?
Let’s talk guest lists. Now if you’re like me and have a European background you will understand when I say that planning a guest list is like preparing for World War 3. Ok, maybe slightly dramatic but seriously, wine will probably be needed.
Trying to find the balance between having who you want there and who is expected to be there can be a difficult one. I guess 20 or so years ago it was quite normal for everyone to be invited including Bert and Ernie from down the road. As time has gone on however, people are wanting much more intimate celebrations with their nearest and dearest. Still though, finding that cut off line is extremely difficult. So how do you do it?
Well, what we would recommend starting with is to make a list of your closest family and friends, the people you interact with regularly and the people who instantly come to mind. That’s the easy part.
Now just before we move further, we should mention that the type of event you are planning is generally a good indication on the guest list. Obviously if you are having a small dinner party then you won’t be inviting your fourth cousin twice removed, however if you’re planning a wedding, perhaps that same fourth cousin twice removed is an appropriate guest to invite. It is always a good idea, especially if you are planning a large private event to get some advice from your family about who you should or shouldn’t invite. Have an open and honest discussion about your guest list with your parents or family but remember that at the end of the day, this is YOUR event and you should only invite who you really want there. We understand though, there can be a lot of pressure especially for those large weddings on inviting every tom, dick and harry.
So, to give you a hand, we’ve tried to narrow it down for you into categories of the types of guests to consider inviting:
IMMEDIATE FAMILY
Immediate family is classified as parents, siblings and their spouses, nieces and nephews and grandparents. This may be a no brainer but we definitely recommend inviting your immediate family to your event.
EXTENDED FAMILY
This can be a little bit tricky. Extended family can range from aunties, uncles and first cousins all the way to your mum’s cousin’s cousin. Our recommendation to keep in mind is that if you invite one auntie and uncle, it would be wise to invite them all.
FAMILY FRIENDS OR FRIENDS OF THE PARENTS
Family friends can also include a large range of people. What we would recommend with this one is to seek advice from your parents. They are going to be the best gauge at who you should or shouldn’t invite. Obviously, those who have played a big part in your life would be included on the guest list but there may be some friends of your parents who you don’t associate with often. If this is the case, ask your parents if they would like them to be included but ensure that those guests are appropriate for the type of event you are hosting. For example, those guests may be appropriate for a wedding but perhaps not for your bridal shower.
CHILDHOOD OR SCHOOL FRIENDS
Childhood and school friends hold a special part in our hearts so it's not unusual to consider inviting them to your event. However, if you have drifted over the years then you probably don’t need to send an invitation.
COLLEAGUES
This is a real tricky one. Generally, we spend more time with our colleagues than our actual family so it can be quite difficult on working out what to do. You also will then be faced with; do you invite just your closest work friends or all of them? Now this is definitely a personal choice but what we suggest is to think – if you were to quit tomorrow, who would you keep in contact with? That’s probably your answer on who to invite. However, if you don’t feel you can invite just a few work colleagues, then it’s probably wiser to not invite anyone.
KIDS
This is a very personal decision and a little touchy as some parents may be offended if their child is not included on the invitation, especially if they are family. Generally, there’s three options - All kids are invited - No kids are invited - Just family kids are invited Depending on what you decide to do it is always a good idea to try and make it as clear as possible on the invitation if kids are invited to avoid that awkward conversation of the parents asking you if their kids are invited. When you send out invitations, be sure to specifically address the guests' names that are invited either on the actual invitation or on the envelope.
PLUS ONES
Now back in the day it was pretty much expected for a plus one to be included for your single guests. Now though, it is totally fine to not include a plus one on the invitation for a guest who is single. However, we do think it’s a nice thing to ensure that those single guests know at least one person besides yourself at the event or are introduced to some other guests prior to the event to ensure they feel comfortable. If this isn’t the case, it may be nice to offer that they bring a plus with them.
Now with all this said and done, realistically a lot of who you invite to your event also comes down to budget especially when you are paying a set amount per head, and while there isn’t a set rule on who you should or shouldn’t invite, there are some common curtesy's worth following so keep this in mind when selecting your guest list.
Good luck, we know this can be a really complicated task ahead of you but just remember, it’s your event so invite who YOU WANT to invite and try not to invite out of obligation if you can avoid it.
EEA team xxx